Beware the Walkin' Dude

The lack of imagination when it comes to some superhero and supervillain names is troubling to me. The Walkin' Dude however, named after Stephen King's most insidious character, got his moniker from the man himself.

The author, supposedly, opened the paper one morning, in a little cafe he frequents in Maine; after reading the headline story concerning a supervillain's casual violence, disregard for life and propensity for manipulating people, he quoted himself saying, "Beware the Walkin' Dude." It caught on.

The Walkin' Dude started off calling himself Deception. Ominous and mysterious, I suppose, but it lacks character. A good handle, like a good costume, gives a hint at the character it represents. I guess the best example of this is The Icon who stands out in a crowd, is constantly in the public eye and strives to set the example for all other superheroes. A terrible example is Michael & Collins, the college kid and his magic dog who, whether they know it or not, owe their name to one of the most famous faces of the movement for Irish independence in the early 1900s. Tangent. Apologies.

The Walkin' Dude is heartless, using others to perpetuate his violence. Much like Charles Manson, he turns folks into devotees using charisma and incredible personal magnitude, then he convinces them to commit atrocities, seemingly for no other reason than to watch them play out. Stabbings, fathers murdering their wives and children, abductions, shooting sprees; these are all the handiwork of one sadistic man.

Also, the Walkin' Dude walks. He's been caught a handful of times, but literally walks out of prison a short time later, after convincing the guards, medical staff or warden that he shouldn't be behind bars. From there, he's untraceable. The Walkin' Dude can't be tracked by credit cards because he doesn't fly. He walks.

Imagine the life: walking from cheap motel to cheap motel, sitting down for a thirty-minute conversation with the desk clerk, turning him into a personal thrall, convincing them to put you up in an empty room for a night, the way you might a favorite uncle.

Imagine the magnitude. The Walkin' Dude walks, from one end of America to the other, from  small town to small town, infecting Joe Sixpack with his wormy ideas, leaving them to go about their lives, like sleeper agents, until the time comes for...what?

Imagine the process. The Walkin' Dude's victims haven't been mind-wiped by magic or technology. They haven't had a Khan-style bug dropped in their collective ear. They've been convinced by a sit-down tet-a-tet with a very genial, very friendly psychopath.

Next time you see a down-on-his-luck college kid with his thumb out, think twice before giving him a lift and, for God's sake and for your own, beware the Walkin' Dude.

Cheers,
-B.H.